….And We’re Back!

11 04 2008

Yay! The blog is back. Sorry for the hiatus, but I am back now, so spread the word.
I promised an elliptical workout last time, so here it is, about a week late.
 Question: How should we use the Elliptical Trainer?
OK, reason I ask is that it seems to be getting some bad press and the treadmill is being touted as the workout machine that will get you into shape. I hope that’s not true because I think the Elliptical is fun )
I do see people hop on and just go without any resistance so that can’t be good right? I don’t use the programs because they don’t change the resistance, should I? I try to change it up, increase & decrease the incline, and work with the resistance.. start at 3, go to 10 then go to 5 sort of thing. Can you recommend a good Elliptical workout for us Elliptical junkies?

While, I can not in good conscience reccommend a workout to someone I have not evaluated myself, I can tell you that an elliptical routine is a great way to increase results, instead of just jumping on it and going, and keep your workout interesting.
After this question posted, I went to the gym for some experimenting. After a few different positions, levels and a lot of sweating, I developed a routine for myself, that you can tweak for your needs.
I think its pretty much common knowledge that ellipticalling forward works the front of your legs, namely quads, and going backwards works the back of the legs, namely hamstrings.
I’m not going to get too much into the levels and RPMs I went cause that wasnt my main concern and its going to be different based on everyone’s fitness level. I was more focused on form and ways you can change that around.
So here’s what I did for a good 30 minute cardio session on the elliptical:

  • 2 minute warm up, just general elliptical, forward, hands on elliptical arms
  • 2.5 minutes, still going forward, a bit faster, concentrate on your right arm pushing the ET’s arm
  • 2.5 minutes, same pace, concentrate on left arm
  • 5 minutes, knees bent more than usual weight on your heels
  • 3 minutes, still forward, on your toes (if they get tingly, you can skip this. Sometimes mine do, and sometimes they don’t.)
  • 5 minutes, switch to reverse, hold on to middle handles, weight on heels
  • 5 minutes, switch back to normal forward motion, weight on heels
  • 2.5 minutes, hard intensity, hands on ET’s moving arms
  • 2.5 minutes cool down, half pace

There are all kinds of variations you can do, whatever feels right for you. It is important to switch up your cardio so you dont fall into a plateau, and this is a perfect way to do that. A lot of people tell me they just LOVE the elliptical, treadmill, etc, and don’t want to have to switch to keep the body on its toes. This is a great way to make it so you dont have to.
I have a meeting with my broker after work and then have to crank out this seminar. I worked out at work today between sessions because I wont have time this evening and then will make sure to fit in a short run.
I’m so glad to be back, hope you guys stuck around. I have a short attention span so I would have forgotten about this thing by now if it weren’t mine.

Patience is a Virtue

4 04 2008

hey, everyone.

Im having a lof of issues with my wordpress account, and am in the process of switching it over to a different host. That way, I can hopefully get some ads up, too. If you stop by and see the site isnt there, it will be back, I promise. This happened a few times last night. So just be patient and Iwill be back later today with  an elliptical workout.

Accidentally Delicious

3 04 2008

All of my favorite recipes are either things I adapted out of laziness or lack of ingredients, or have been mistakes I have made on other recipes. This one is one I did on accident.
I sauteed some kale in olive oil and garlic one night, and sprinkled it with some cheese. I stuck it in a casserole dish to brown the cheese a bit under the broiler and wait for everything else I was cooking to finish up. I’m awful at getting everything to finish cooking at the same time, so something always suffers.
I forgot about the kale, and when I pulled it out it was completely crispy. I decided to just eat it anyway because it didn’t actually burn and turns out it was delicious. It tasted just like potato chips.
I had a bunch of kale last night so I decided to make some for the boy and I to munch on. We both wanted something sweet, so I put a little bit of Johnny’s seasoning (great on everything) and drizzled the kale with some honey.

I threw it in the oven at 350 degrees for about 10-12 minutes until it was all crispy, no signs of moisture. They turned out really good, except the honey made the kale stick to the baking sheet a little bit more, which just meant a little more effort to peel them off.


Great way to get your greens.
I went for a run yesterday and got lost again.   As you get closer to the water in my neighborhood, a lot of the streets start to wind and dont always go through. Its good for me, because then I get some extra running in against my will, but sucks when it makes you miss Degrassi. Paige got raped, and I missed the beginning, so I dont know who did it. I blame Spinner.
Lower body day today at the gym, with a little treadmill running. Its a light day cause I gotta get rolling on this seminar. I have to get the power point done by the end of the week. Which is tomorrow. I will be in front of the computer for a long while.

Would you rather get stung by a bee the size of your head, or have your head be the size of a bee?

2 04 2008

In case you needed any more proof that trainers aren’t perfect, I was so busy yesterday, I went to the gym and forgot to eat before. About half way through I felt like I got punched in the stomach and thought I might vom. I ended up leaving early so i could get some food in me. EAT before you work out. I should have had something in my bag for just such an occassion, but I tend to not ever really be prepared for anything.
I was blog hopping this morning and stumbled upon The Weighting Game which posed the question: “Would you rather be 40 pounds over weight and smart, or skinny and stupid?”
They say there are no stupid questions, but I would like to nominate this one as the exception.
Don’t get me started on the use of the word “skinny.” Does that imply health? or just small? Who says thats better?
I mainly take exception with the fact that it makes being overweight sound like something that just happens to you. Whoops, Im over weight. Whoops, Im blind. Not the same thing. 
While it may seem that you just woke up overweight, you know that it is under your control. You know if you move more and eat less you will lose weight. Everyone knows that. Shouldn’t we be past this, and spending our time discussing how to get people moving and healthier?
And who says that being overweight is such a horrible thing, especially of the same caliber as being stupid? You can be over weight and healthy; most likely healthier than a “skinny” person. Skinny is not better than overweight, why can’t anyone ever be in the happy middle? The healthy middle?
Thankfully, the poll shows, when I last checked, that 70% would prefer to be overweight and smart. In a world where everything must be SO extreme, I guess thats a good sign.
I would also like to point out that the blogger thought it was a no brainer as well.
I, however, rufe to choose either one. I would prefer to be of moderate intellegence and healthy. Atleast that way I could learn and better myself. 
Oops, I forgot the intellengence part wasn’t the issue. Its how I look.
Whoever thought of this question must be very, very skinny.

Comparing Yourself to Others: Always Great for the Self Esteem

1 04 2008

Here is a great program for young girls that uses running to help with character development and self esteem. Click here to check it out.
So health benefits motivate me to work out, blah, blah, reduced cancer risk, blah, blah, stress relief, but what motivates me to push through each individual workout when I am at the gym is completely selfish and superficial. And that’d how I like it.
1. I always do my Cardio next to FloJo. I have never been an endurance athlete; the longest I would ever need to be working full out would be a 1 minutes 30 second floor routine, or the 5 second sprint down the vault runway. I get bored very easily and need something to keep me going. I wouldnt say I am competitive, but I will definately go for longer if I think someone is watching. I walk up to cardio machines, survey the runners/ellipticalers/bikers and find the sweatiest, fittest looking one. I hop on the machine next to them, if it is available,  peek over, make a mental note of how long they have been going, smile sheepishly when they give me the stink eye after inevitably catching me looking, and  start peddaling/running/ellipticalling. My pride keeps me from getting off before they do. I can’t start after them and quit before them. That’s ludacris.
2. I stretch and do floor work next to Olive Oil and Cisco Morris. I dont know if anyone outside of the Pacific Northwest knows who Cisco is so here is a sampling.


Imagine that face with a mild speech impediment and a love for ferns.

I actually met him once when I got lost in the U-District and had to stop at a Starb’s for directions. He gardens on TV. I garden and Im not on TV. I’m bitter. Anyway: the stretching area is next to the main walkway and is always lined with old men in tiny shorts doing their junk-exposing stretches or “pilates” and younger women doing abs and stability ball work because they dont want to “bulk up.” Stretching is relaxing, and for some reason my affect screams, PLEASE TALK TO ME OLD MEN, I AM JUST LIKE YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER, so a conversation is almost always struck up, despite the i-pod in my ear. Stretching should take a while, 10-30 seconds per stretch, so the conversation helps pass the time so I get in a nice good stretching session. And no other time in the real world can you just get up and walk away from someone you were talking to without being “rude” or “verbally abusive” or “not a good friend.” I have a short attention span. A real friend would know that.
3. I lift weights next to know-it-all men with no testicles. Everytime I walk into the free weight room at the gym, it gets about 8 times louder. Men sniff female, and the sounds of hurling weights, grunting and tendons tearing away from bone fill the air. I cant make fun of them too bad because thats the exact reason I go back there, everyone starts showing off. Not many women go into the free weight room because it is full of juiced up guys with awful form, gawking. I make it my personal mission to show them that little girls can lift weights, too. It helps me keep proper form and lift more challeneging weights to really stick it to ’em. Show off? Maybe, but it keeps me in there longer and atleast I keep quiet about it.
Whatever motivates you to work out harder/better/faster/stronger (Daft Punk reference anyone? If you say anything about Kanye West I will hunt you down) harness it and use it. Just dont tell people what it is because then they will think you are full of yourself, like all of you think I am right now. But, hey, I get my workout in everyday. 

I Will Be Like Dr. Phil, But With More Hair and People Will Like Me

31 03 2008

So I have been poking around the internet in search of fitness blogs that I would enjoy reading. Mizfit is great, (hello!) but she is the only one I can find that I myself would (and do) read, and if I, a personal trainer, find other fitness blogs a self-righteous snoozefest, Im sure you all do, too.
I think my main qualm is that everything is too calculated. Its anything you can pick up in a magazine and read, and everything is broken down into minutes, heart rates, incline, reps, sets, calories, ad naseum. I think the fitness community is too elitist. Those that are knowledgable and have that information to offer seem to be more interested in showing the reader that working out is hard, and since they are so buff, they work out harder than you. If you are not working out as hard as them, you are weak, get out of here. Be intimidated by me because all of this information is confusing to you, but I am writing about it like its nothing because I am smarter than you, there for you do not deserve to be fit. Run away, puny weakling.
Or they just know how to cut and paste.
Our job is to take this information that admittedly is a bit confusing and involves a lot of variables, and break it down into just what you guys need to know. In order to lose weight or gain the health benefits of exercise, you dont need to know your maximum training heart rate, your VO2max, or your “fat burning zone.”
I feel this is why people dont work out. They hear all of this information floating around, get confused and intimidated, and think they cant ever do it.  This is what leads them to quick fixes and easy tricks. The terms quick and easy insinuates that weightloss and fitness without gimmicks is hard, if not impossible, without them.  I dont think we in the fitness industry are making an effort to bridge this gap. 
Which leads me to my million dollar idea, because everything I do is in hopes of getting a million dollars. This is completely irresponsible journalism here, which is perfect because I am not a journalist, because I havent technically read the book, but I will write the fitness sister to Skinny Bitch. It will be called Shut Up and Move. Or just Shut Up.
I have some insider info: for all of you that are not athletes, and I mean college or pro, or for the younger readers, highschool athletes, you dont need to know your heart rate. You dont need to know what moves are going to bulk you up and how to avoid it. If you aren’t training to be a figure model or a weightlifter, women, you will not bulk. There’s just not enough testoterone in your lady body. You don’t need to know your fat burning heart rate zone. Stop making it harder than it needs to be: just move.
Move all day long. I do not pay any attention to my heart rate or my mileage for running, or any of that, and i consider myself a non-competitive athlete. I wear a pedometer everyday because I am a busy gal. If I can sneak in some movement a little throughout the day, it just adds a little boost to my workout at the end of the day.  I do not substract how many calories I burned from every day activity from my workout at the end of the day. This would instill doing the bare minimum all of the time. I keep track of nothing except how I feel. In the morning, I reset the pedometer with no thought of how many steps I did yesterday. I run to relieve stress, I weight train to be able to get through everyday activities with ease, I work out to improve my quality of life. Its as simple as that. I just want to live a long time to bother you all for as long as possible.
A good workout is one that makes you sweat and leaves you wanting more. You may hate it while you are doing it, but afterwards, if you can nod your head and say with certainty, that was a good workout, you’re there. People do this with food also: how many grams of fiber and protein do I need a day? That’s not your biggest problem right now. Just eat less or cut out the crap. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be. As you can eat intuitively, exercise intuitively.
You may scoff and say, “But wonderful all-knowing Kelly, you do not need to lose weight, so of course it is easy for you,” to which I would reply, “but, alas! While I do not need to lose weight, I create plans and routines for people that do all day long: this is my career. And I find that through instilling this principle of exercising to feel better, about your day, your body, or yourself, people stick with it longer and enjoy their workout.” I want everyone to get to the point where they look forward to their workout, and the only way people are going to do that is if the focus is off the numbers. They will follow, I promise, but only if you stick with it. The only way you will stick with it is if its fun and makes you feel good. 
And if you don’t have to think too much. Because at the end of the day, we are still Americans.


Tony Little cracks me up.

Discuss Amongst Yourselves

31 03 2008

I am so exhausted. I cleaned house for about 3 hours straight and now am home to clean my own house. i got a free futon and tv stand out of the deal so I cant complain too loudly. Although, I am very good at it.

 I didnt get a formal workout in, but mopping, sweeping, washing windows and hauling trash and furniture definately will get the heart rate up and burn some cals.

 I have dishes soaking so I am checking in real fast. I will do a proper post tomorrow after work, I promise.

 So honestly, what do you guys want to see? I mean, I have no problem just posting my every day routine, but I find its already getting repetitive. I would really like to use this to share my knowledge with you guys, thats why I started it, but the only way that is fun, is if its things you want to know about. I have yet to find another blog just about fitness, so i would like to use this to its fullest potential.So lay it on me. Any suggestions are welcome.